Sophia and I went down to the school where I work yesterday. I wanted to introduce her to my co-workers and just be there for a little while to prepare myself for Monday. The school serves children with special needs. The kids in the wing that I work in have a variety of emotional and behavioral disorders. It’s not always an easy job but the people there work hard to provide a caring, supportive environment for them.
The visit went smoothly for the most part. We were there for two hours. I must have been really worn out by the time I got home because I started feeling so overwhelmed looking around at the unmade bed, the pile of unfolded laundry, the plates and cups waiting to go upstairs ... the general ‘foolishness’ as Niecy Nash would say, of my living space. The textbooks lying open on the coffee table reminded me of unfinished homework and I still have so many things to get ready for Sophia’s first day at daycare!
Well, an emotional storm started brewing right there. Clouds were gathering and getting more ominous as the evening progressed! It all came to a head over dinner when J. announced that he would be working Monday instead of taking care of Sophia as we’d planned … as I’d planned so carefully in advance with my babysitter.
I should be ready for the unknown quantity by now. It surfaces often our relationship. I think it happens because we’re both busy with our own agendas and we don’t always carve out the time to communicate. I’ve become better at telling him what I need and asking for help but I get frustrated always having to ask for what seems obvious to me. Sometimes it seems like too much hard work. J. on the other hand, often thinks he's communicated things with me which have never left his head … He thinks I understand him so well that I can read his mind!
That evening, unable to bottle up my emotions any longer, I went to bed to have a good weep. As I lay crying J. came to lay next to me and asked me what was wrong. “I’m just so sah …ah… ahd to leave my baby!” I wailed. He just held me while I sobbed and knew that it would all feel better in the morning.
The visit went smoothly for the most part. We were there for two hours. I must have been really worn out by the time I got home because I started feeling so overwhelmed looking around at the unmade bed, the pile of unfolded laundry, the plates and cups waiting to go upstairs ... the general ‘foolishness’ as Niecy Nash would say, of my living space. The textbooks lying open on the coffee table reminded me of unfinished homework and I still have so many things to get ready for Sophia’s first day at daycare!
Well, an emotional storm started brewing right there. Clouds were gathering and getting more ominous as the evening progressed! It all came to a head over dinner when J. announced that he would be working Monday instead of taking care of Sophia as we’d planned … as I’d planned so carefully in advance with my babysitter.
I should be ready for the unknown quantity by now. It surfaces often our relationship. I think it happens because we’re both busy with our own agendas and we don’t always carve out the time to communicate. I’ve become better at telling him what I need and asking for help but I get frustrated always having to ask for what seems obvious to me. Sometimes it seems like too much hard work. J. on the other hand, often thinks he's communicated things with me which have never left his head … He thinks I understand him so well that I can read his mind!
That evening, unable to bottle up my emotions any longer, I went to bed to have a good weep. As I lay crying J. came to lay next to me and asked me what was wrong. “I’m just so sah …ah… ahd to leave my baby!” I wailed. He just held me while I sobbed and knew that it would all feel better in the morning.
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